4 Happy Family The personal blog of Kevin R. Hoffmann

Warmed Over

Yaarrgghhh! SO frustrating. I was feeling pretty good yesterday at work, I was able to get something completed. When I was on the train on the way home I started getting intestinal-related cramps. When I was walking to the house Maya and C came out to greet me on the sidewalk and I had to blow right by them to make it into the house and into the bathroom.

 Still, I was not feeling too bad as I had to visit the facilities every 10 minutes or so. I even had a 1/4 glass of ine with dinner. All of the sudden the chills hit me again and I was up to 103 for a fever. I could not get warm. Of course Maya was being somewhat of a pill yesterday and I felt bad not being able to with lil Miss Sassy. After putting her down we talked and watched some TV and then went to bed.

 I could not fall asleep. I was wiped, but it took me 2-3 hours to go down. Normally I would get up and read or write here, but I was totally catonic, wallowing in my fever.

After taking another round of drugs I finally slept from about 1:30 - 4:00 or so. I woke up to use the bathroom so of course the dogs did too which means I had to make with the zombie walk downstairs and let them out. Temp was down to 102. Sent an E-mail to work letting them know that I was not going to be in and let the dogs back in.

I am so happy for Spring but I forgot about the mud and how dogs like to walk in the mud so I had to take 10 minutes to clean their paws off before letting them in. Such a huge pain in the ass.

 Currently, I am lying on the couch trying to catch up on the hopeless pile of work that is building simmering at a comfortable 100.5. I am just so sick of being sick. I did get an unprompted "I love you, daddy" from the kid this morning so that bouyed me somwhat.

Infected

It is funny how quickly the body can become sick. I was at work on Monday when I started to get the creeps in my throat and warmness in my body. By the time I got home, I knew that something was not right. I woke up that night at 1:30 and took my temperature: 103.2. Holy shit. I gobbled down some Tylenol and retreated to the coolness of the basement and watched “The Secret Life of…Steak”; which repulsed and made me hungry at the same time. We have an ear thermometer for Maya and since it is so easy to use and instantly gratifying I would take my temp about every 15 minutes. The old me would take the mean and graph this on a chart, but I am trying to get better. It is funny being anal, it is almost like I want to see how high I can get the number, I mean I am already sick let’s see what this thermometer can do. 

C was talking to her friend; one of the people that came over this past weekend and her husband apparently had the same thing as me but was a day ahead of schedule. Besides the fever, the aches and the kidney pain I was also in store for nausea as my body sweated it out in the later stages. Viral transmission is an odd bird. It is scary how easy it is to transfer sickness. It is not like we were in close physical contact; we weren’t trading blankets for parcels of land either, it had to be the rock band instruments.  True to her word, by the afternoon I was feeling better. I showered and even went for a short (and slow) walk with the family trying to wear myself out for sleep last night.  I am feeling pretty good today as I am heading in on the train. The walk in will be tiring and I hate that I have to add two more days to the running backlog of work I need to get done, but I am glad this was only of the 24-hour variety. 

The big catch up

Besides the book (which was good besides a flat and easy-way-out ending, but I plan on picking up the sequel) things have been hectic. I was out of town in Oakland/San Fran for a little while and then had to spend time working late trying to fulfill all the promises made during the business trip.

The newest addition to the house is the little koala bear below. Don’t know if it was parental guilt from being gone or the fact that we had a few bucks left on a gift card to Build-A-Bear, but we decided to add to the stuffed animal zoo. Maya has been addicted to a show called Ni Hao Kai Lan and one of the characters is a koala so the obvious connection was made.

At B-A-B you don’t just buy a stuffed animal. First you pick out a Lews & Clarkesque skin. Really, it is a pelt of an animal and if the place wasn’t so damn cheerful it could be a frightening experience. You then stand in line for a stuffing machine behind a 52-year-old grandma that has not grown up and wants a bear for herself. They gibe you a tiny little heart that your kid is supposed to make a wish on before putting into the immards of the animal. They then fill up your animal with stuffing and sew it together. Sort of like reverse taxidermy.

After playing reanimator, it is your consumer duty to choose out clothes for your new friend. Of course, the BAB people know what they are doing and guide you from station to station making sure you are funneled past hundreds of mini-sized, maxi-priced outfits, accessories and additions for your animal. Yes, we were suckers (but we had a gift card) and let her choose the shirt, the hat and the panties.

Yes, everything has panties these days, Maya will pee on command on her potty, but she still is reluctant to go #2. We are working on it with a mixture of patience and bribes. We have been doing the pantless thing trying to get her to feel comfortable going but she will run up to use and in a panic ask for a diaper. We try to talk her into using Dora, but she is pretty adamant about her need to soil herself.

Easter weekend was mellow. Saturday night we had some friends over and they brought Rock Band which combined with Beer is a pretty volatile solution. We ate the traditional Easter fondue and then played into the night channeling Frampton. We definitely paid for it on Sunday when the little one got up early. Took it easy all day, tried to buy fruit smoothies but everything was closed.

It is finally starting to feel a little bit Springish this week. We might even get into the 650s. C and I have been talking about making some lifestyle changes (mostly menu) lately and I am ready to start running again, Can’t believe it is almost April.

Reading

...and not writing. I have been spending my train time reading this book (Blindness by Jose Saramago):

Work has been hectic and I have a trip out West next week. It is nice to sit down and read a book. We took Maya to her library class last Thursday and I was able to check this out and she was able to get a couple of books on Pigs (they were the animal of the week for the class). She absolutely loves Olivia Saves the Circus.

We have a sitter tonight. C has had a rough week too and we are both ready to unwind. We are hoping that she (Maya not Courtney) does not exhibit a lot of drama. We are taking the car to get sold (cross your fingers) this weekend too.

(The book, by the way, is pretty creepy in a fun and nervous way; I am about 1/3 of the way finished. --Not the pig book; sorry had to make the stupid joke)

Merit Badge for Embezzlement

When the hell did girl scouts get so aggressive? Not in a physical, deathmatch merit badge sort of way, but in their sales tactics. I was always under the impression that the norm for selling cookies was always Mom or Dad would come into work with their tail between their legs and try and drum up support for their kids’ cause. I have to admit that my boss “suggested” that we buy some from him (his daughter) this year. I think it is somewhat suspect that our performance reviews are around the same time the money is due. 

More and more I have been seeing these group of kids at the hardware store, the train station and on the corners downtown on my way home from work. The Moms (hardly ever the Dads) are standing behind them with a look of utter disdain for having to be in public in uptight Libertyville pimping out their kids to sell cookies. I understand it is for a good cause and all, but I have a hard enough time doing the sidewalk scan when approached by homeless people. When these kids make their pitch (always with so much enthusiasm) I try to wave them off:

GS: “Excuse me sir, would you like to buy a box of tagalongs to help out pack 164 and help realize the dream of a budding young person as I forge my way in the big world?”
Me: “Sorry, I just had gastric bypass and the staples are still making me sore.”
GS: “Please?”
Me: “Dammit.”

Stupid thin mints and their crack-like draw. I swear to god if Samoas could be the new methadone. If the Moms were smart they should troll (without kids) Grateful Dead, Phish, …damn who is the new hippie band the Trustifarians (my favorite term for the hippie kids with trust funds that get their hemp hoodies at upscale boutiques) follow? Wow – that was an ugly sentence, let’s move on.

Anyway, the Mom just needs to dress like a jello-shot girl and go down to Daytona Beach at Spring Break. About 2AM, tuck in your T-shirt Daisy Duke style, open the trunk of your car and hang out your cookie shingle. Just charge $5 a box or 4 for $20 (come on they are drunk frat boys) and make sure you skim off the top for your expenses.I guarantee you that this idea would sell hundreds of boxes faster than you can say Spring Break Paternity Suit.

DorkPacking

Despite the red wine snakes we decided to make the most of it and actually spend the day outside in the warmer weather. (Warm meaning 50 or so degrees.) There was still a heavy snow pack keeping things colder, but we packed up the dogs and and the kid, dropped some leftover paella off for friends and then we went to park reserve by our house for a nice 3-mile stroll around the drive.

It can be a major pain walking two dogs and pushing a stroller so we opted for the Lil’ Papoose 2000 and stuck Maya in the back as we made our trek around the blacktop. (By the way the title was for me and not the contents of my carrier) We are still lucky in that she still weighs as much as 2 wriggly gallons of milk; about 25# or so (or 3 more than our cat). Just like Ratatouille, she would pull my hair and push my head trying to dictate my direction

As you can see in this picture it was windy and frugal. Windy because of the tuft of what is left of my hair and frugal because I refuse to buy sunglasses that cost more than $3. I have seen the Chester Molester look go in and out of style in the past decade. I know how bad they look and I know not to wear them while taking pictures of kids on the train in front of me, but I can’t help myself

The walk was great, it really cleared out all of the cobwebs. We were all a little cold by the time we got back to the car, but we were able to take a picture of this gem:

Awesome. I don’t know if I should be scared of these people or buy them beer. I really want to know if they were joking or if they truly have a couch on their front porch

Also we took these pictures as Maya was determined to wear the backpack herself.  <

Maya has been on-again and off-again with her napping. We are still lucky that she has not gotten out (I should say we have not caught her getting out) of the big-girl bed. When she woke up we were bored so we ran some errands to Target and had to go by Toys-R-Us.

She picked out a loop-de-loop race track for hot wheels and as if to balance her feminine chi she wanted a cheapo little tea set as if to say I can rock out but also be a lady as well.

She was absolutely crazy about the car track. We set it up in the family room and she would squeal as she let them race down the track. Back and forth, back and forth she would zoom around with her cars making sure they all took their turn

The rest of the night was quiet. We need to do our final push on our basement to get it painted and hang some curtains to serve as walls. We are really trying to get everything done in time for Spring so we can actually enjoy ourselves this year and truly find time to do things we love and cherish as a family. (Does not mean we really will support lap dances.)

Paella!

Maya and I hung out today. We cleaned the house, played in the snow and spent some time doing hide and seek. (I won, the kid just doesn't know how to hide that well.) We had some people over and made paella. This turned out amazingly well and we gorged ourselves and had enough leftovers to feed 3 more families. Why are so many people afraid of the terrifying social stigma of 'Not having enough food'?

The two couples that came over have 3 boys between them and it was fun to watch this petite little kid roughhouse and chase the boys around the house. She was a little shy at first but was soon running around.

Everyone stayed up a little too late tonight so things should be interesting tomorrow.